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I am imperfect

I am imperfect. I am flawed. I strive to do the right thing, and sometimes the right thing seems not so easy to do. Sometimes what seems like the right thing, may in fact be something else, so what am I to do? I have to admit that there are things that have occurred in my life, especially within the business of art that have challenged the very thing that drives my creativity, and that is my heart. It is very difficult not to get upset in situations when the business of art supersedes the sacred aspect of the painting. In the last couple of years I have had my share of situations where the business took center stage and I was challenged for expressing my worth and the value of my art, and even ridiculed. It has led to heart ache and has even ended long standing relationships. It is and always will be a little bit tricky balancing the two, business and art, and perhaps I might seek a representative for my work, and never think about it again, because to be honest, it is the act of creating art that is sacred to me. I pour my whole being into my work, it is not something I plan, and quite often it can be a struggle. I love the struggle, even if it is not always so enjoyable. After hours of toiling and pushing through the challenges, that instant when all the hardship dissolves and clarity arrives, I am free and the creation flows out of me. It may not always come out exactly as I envision it, and that is okay. The self conscious wants to judge the moment and pick apart the little details, it will try to find improvements until someone comes along and they connect with the vision and a sense of relief comes over me, and in these instances my heart warms beautifully. I am aware that the imperfection is when logic enters heart space. Logic falls away when I am in a higher plane of my existence and this is when I am in the act of creating. Writing about my experience has been my greatest challenge, it is very easy to lose the scared when I am translating with written word something in which is obscure and ambiguous, this is my imperfection. I will work at this.

A quick side note on contracts and those who feel the need to suggest that I make a contract.

I sign the contract when I look you in the eye and we agree on the terms and no, you will not conveniently forget, you and I both know that you or I did not forget and that we can be good hearted, peace loving, beings, and find a resolution and solution, instead of the tired, played out, human drama, when the lies we share and tell each other stop, when we put down the veil, let down our guards, and we reach out to one another and make new what time forgot. Than and only than will we look into each others eyes and laugh.
MahalonessARt from the heart energy beaming outwardly to those who receive.

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