My conviction to not suffer is practicing practice constantly. Meditation has been an effective tool for working at the cessation of suffering. Sitting quietly, minding breath for long periods of time, with nothing else except me and the space I am in. Over the years I have experimented with meditations as a mode of expansion, as well as meditations going inwards. While in expansion I am leaving my physical body, going higher and higher, expanding outwardly until I am shot back into consciousness. My personal record is as high as a star, I have no idea how far that is, perhaps its something like a million light years away. When I meditate going inside my body, I travel through organs, limbs, toes, ears, all the essential areas, sending love and attention to the individual parts that make the whole. I also go through the chakras and when it is a good meditation, meaning I am all the way in, I can sense where there are blockages and will focus on those areas. I find with meditation there is quite often an emphasis on higher self, and that’s great, but it is also great to give attention to all the realms, even the root chakra wants love, its not as if a tree can grow solely with just its leaves, it is a combination of roots, trunk, branches and leaves working in unison, no level being more important than the other.
When I fell in love with painting years ago I discovered the act of painting was similar to meditation. Over the years I learned to control my breathing, and the art of quieting the mind. Concentration plays a role in focusing my energy on the work, and by concentrating on the work I experience the cessation of suffering while in painting process. Making any type of art is healing, we are exercising our freedom to express, from the heart, mind and spirit, and this is at least a portion of the healing qualities that art brings. Even though I have spent years making art, I still experience suffering, especially outside of process. I cough, I have aches, I have experienced pain, all traits of being human. I also have my bouts with emotions, depression, fear and anxiety. I have struggled with these impediments, and sometimes they are so strong that any kind of focus is next to impossible to achieve, these are the cloudy periods. Even during the cloudy days I disciplined myself to continue working, otherwise I fall out of flow, and if I fall out of flow I am closing doors, and subsequently opportunities to grow. I realize that as long as I am unenlightened that suffering will be present in my life. Perhaps enlightenment is attainable for me in this lifetime, the reality is I am working at it constantly, always moving forward, even if I might think my predominant direction is backwards. Without a doubt in my mind, discipline and conviction are tools that initiate action in order to reduce suffering and its effects, such as artist block. When I am suffering the art I produce suffers, and this is passed on to those who view the art. I have had people turn paintings around that just couldn’t handle the suffering. These were intense works, well beyond edgy. I think it is imperative to make these kinds of work, perhaps with the intention of not showing them, unless the right time, right place presents itself and even then it can be hard to determine what the right time and place is, this is one of the many challenges I face when it comes to exhibiting my art. What I am getting at is I know I have the ability to make an impact with my work, and knowing so I must be aware of my suffering and implement mantras to change the thoughts that suffering initiates. This especially if I am making art that reflects energy, with the intention of promoting healing in the people who view the paintings. This is an ongoing exercise, it does not stop, and the cessation of suffering is not permanent either, because if I attach to the idea of the cessation of suffering, I am clinging to the past, and therefore give up a little bit of the present. Now, imagine no suffering, imagine what the present might look like, without suffering, without attachment, this is something I’d like to paint, an enlightened painting, this is a serious challenge because it goes against the grain of an established art world that looks at paintings as if they were bags of money hanging on the wall. I saw an interview with Brice Marden in a Charlie Rose interview, he said that it would be great to make a painting thats soul purpose was to heal the sick, and in a world where we’d rather suffer than heal, it seems like an impossible task. I am willing to at least try, and in my short life I have had some really great results, where I have witnessed my work plant a seed of hope and goodness in the eyes of people who were going through physical and emotional suffering, it is because of this alone I must continue on this path, and find and work with those people who are on this wavelength.
Paintings with built in healing properties, implementing beautiful colors that cover the full spectrum and symbolism that is relatable while portraying energy that is soothing, calming. Mahaloness


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